rolling raver

Ugly arse blanket and how it really ISN’T!

To begin with I was ill. Having to isolate. Being cooped up in our spare bedroom. Making sure that i did not infect the rest of the household. Naturally, i had loads of opportunity to do crochet. What i also had alongside this opportunity was a substantial blocked feeling of not wanting the next thing i make connecting with the ill feeling forever and always reminding me of it…

Therefore, at this point i am stuck! In more ways than one. Understandably angry. Feeling frustrated and sad and anxious and all these things which you may naturally imagine anyone at all feeling in a situation such as the one described above.

My May blog post #ultravioletunicorn shows off three (3) #rainbowblankets. Certainly, at one point or other, it surely seemed possible that by May 2022 i might have the fourth one finished. It was not happening. Consequently i felt stuck with making anything new, at the same time I failed to progress my rainbow blanket. Fuming i am at this point. This new thing i am trying is to give things a more natural journey, so i wasn’t THAT disappointed, really.

Conversely, you can see a sneaky preview of number four (4) HERE, and actually, at the time of writing this, it is very much ready to get back on the hook.

Or at least I think.

My sister in law and fellow crocheter suggested: “Find the wool you like least and make an angry, ugly blanket.” I burst out laughing. She was right! Twist your anger, out of your head and into the blanket. Even if you don’t keep it. Maybe it is so ugly and you hate it so very much that you want to destroy it at the end, it’s okay. We call it worse that ugly. Swear words galore, obviously. Expressing all this anger and frustration at the time.

So this, my lovely readers: Off i go. I dug. I found any and all wool i did not like. All the other wool that was sitting there forever. Those balls we have, for whatever reason, we don’t use. I know you all know what i mean. These balls of wool you look past. Usually, i move them from one storage box to another, always on hand but never making it to the cream of the crop cut.

I am trying. I promise. In a strange way, writing this i am thinking of sports people substitute players who are often ‘benched’. Like those poor kids, these woolly players get benched because? Whoever knows?!?! I was never able to find a fitting project, no matter how hard i tried.

And let me tell you now – Try i Did!

Anyhow, finally discovering what was shaping up to be the best use for them. All together in a lovely one ugly arse blanket. Giving the whole world a big F@@@ oFF.

In the end, i am not surprised to tell you, I LOVE IT! I found myself actually absolutely falling in love with as i was making it! The blanket was taking my pain away. IT was helping my anger, for sure! I am thinking, looking at it now, i am grateful:

Firstly, for allowing me to feel those ‘ugly’ emotions. Secondly, for helping me sort through them and tidy them away. Thirdly, last but not least, for helping me see them retrospectively as necessary.

Alanis Morissette sings in one of her songs Out is Through, read more about its meaning HERE:

In the end, this beautiful piece of crochet is helping me to see the beauty in what i dismissed in the beginning. My ugly arse go away and leave me alone blanket has held those emotions and helped me through them.

Thank You, you absolute beaut:

Thank You for reading!

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