xerophilous xyst

I have been working with a lot of previously made small crochet items recently, turning them into large, humongous, oversized, ginormous, gigantic, crochet BLANKETS. It has been a way of using any crochet work that i have made previously, and that has been lying around the work room, in variously neatly organized packages/ bags/ boxes/ drawers…

or

at least on surface, this has been an exercise of efficiency and recycling. To find a use for items that were originally made to be used as small cloths, various sized crochet bunting triangles or crochet coasters, which will not really get a chance to be used in that way, because no one knows they exist (refer back to the neatly organizes packages), and it is too difficult for me to try to find them new homes as single pieces of work, as crochet is not my full time job….

Currently, i do not have room for keeping stock that i may one day sell. So i have started to remake them. As you can imagine, it takes a while. As you can also probably remember, i use crochet for organizing my thoughts, and for twisting and twirling and knotting my thoughts into sense, or pulling some sense out of the masses of thought/s that is currently whirring inside of my mind.

so

a thought occurred to me whilst i was making these changes, reusing and remaking a piece of crochet work into a larger piece of a crochet blanket.

I started thinking, that by redoing and remaking the work, i am helping myself work through the difficulties that not making a crochet business successful psychologically brought to me. what do i mean by that? It had helped me work through the grief that you undoubtedly experience when you come at something with a lot of enthusiasm, which does not bring a lot of return. And, my patience is not great at the best of times…

Suppose i expect a clear and exact level of return (output) to the level of my investment of energy (input)… 🙂 Which creative people will know, is not really how this business works…

By remaking the individual pieces into a larger crochet object, by working with them again, and making sense of their use, it seems to fulfill another function for me. Sense of the fact that doing crochet as a business actually took away my coping tool. Having to make it to sell/ bring income made crochet the stressful thing, and not the relaxation tool i need it to be.

I also did not particularly like the loneliness of being on my own. I like my own company, and rest best in a quiet space, but in a long term situation and especially in a work setting, i love working with people.

I was happy that i did manage to get back to crochet after a small break, and that i am now back to full obsessiveness and energy to work with it when i need it and sometimes when i don’t really need any crochet help but am really really really excited about finishing the crochet project i have in progress at that time…

and

whilst there are already mentioned retrospective reasons for me to be working these smaller handmade crochet items into bigger crochet projects, there is also another similarity in the way i am working with them worth highlighting. Connecting individual parts into a bigger, interconnected machine/ purposeful object. Where the impact of the larger, interconnected pieces is expected to be bigger, the impact of a well supported individual/ group of individuals may also bring more inclusive results and more impact, whilst highlighting everyone’s specific skills and contributions.

Without people it would be little less useful for me to do what i do, so

Thank You All!

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